I can’t sleep. Anyone else awake?
It’s just after 3:00am and my brain is so exhausted and so overworked – I CAN’T SLEEP!
I am slowly going crazy 123456 switch.
I know I haven’t blogged in 3 hours and 10 days if I count like Sinead O’Conner1. Is that even funny? I’m too tired to tell. In my delirium…. I believe that it is.
My cat is driving me crazzzzy. I’ve been so busy the past few weeks, she’s not getting the ridiculous amounts of attention I’m usually able to give her. My boyfriend Matt is away for work as well, so it’s just her and I having a midnight stand-off. She meows, I beat my head into the pillow, attempt to coax her into bed with me, then sigh in agony when she just stares and meows.
I tried throwing pillows in her general direction (not at her) but she’s learned to get up high in my rafters so I can’t reach. Clever minx.
Now, I have no pillows left on the bed. You win Finn. You win.
This is not the first time I’ve been up at 3:00am feeling anxious, but I’m alone, and it’s too quiet and my thoughts are just buzzing around and buzzing around.
1. Was offered a really great job…in my field, working with this demographic FOR MONEY and somehow I turned it down.
2. Am already booked solid for February so I’m bartering FULL DAYS and more than just Tuesdays and Thursdays!!!
3. Have been knocking on doors at production companies. I feel much like Pretty Woman when the shopkeepers won’t let her shop at the fancy stores2.
4. Have done a financial talk for Women and the Law Society which was awesome! And, I’m booked for another next week (which I still have to finish… it will be great! Don’t worry if you are reading this and organizing that talk next week!)
5. Made the catastrophic mistake of starting a “cleanse” this week. Made it 4 days. FML. I seriously lack will power when I’m run-down and exhausted.
6. Lost a whole day of work because I felt ill all day and watched far too many chick flicks; Serendipity, Under The Tuscan Sun, Never Been Kissed… and the list goes on embarrassingly long.
7. Must blog, must tweet!!!! This alone is a full time job.
Dsfhjksdhf dshfjksdhfk sdhf kshfdjkaldshf ldshflhvxlchvcjlfsl < —— that’s me being flustered!
How can I literally find enough time to do all this in the next 7 days??? I have no idea.
Is this even making sense? These are a mix of events that happened weeks ago, happened today and things that will soon come to pass. It’s like I’m being visited by Neurotic Shannon of Barter Past, Neurotic Shannon of Barter Present and Neurotic Shannon of Barter Future. Would Finn be Tiny Tim3?
Sigh – I think I’ve gone a little loopy.
As I write this, I’m trying to figure out the point to this post, and yet I have none. I promise a more meaningful post next week. I’m venting, and sometimes a girl just really needs to. So when you’re reading this, imagine there is wine and that I’m paying for dinner.
I need to prioritize. Somehow this will all come together. It always does. Come hell or high water I’ll manage it all… but the cleanse may have to wait until I have enough will power to eat kelp 4 times a day.
Roll up the Rim4 starts in like 14 days though – super pumped.