I’m having a bit of a moment. The hype of the launch has subsided and the initial wave of adrenaline has abated. The reality of the situation has set in. I live off $35 a week and I don’t know how I ever thought that would be okay for a whole year.
All I can think is “what the $*%# was I thinking?”
Six weeks ago, when people asked what I would do for money I would smile and proudly say that “I will have $35/week to live off. I’ll be juuuuuust fine! So what – I won’t have new clothes, theatre tickets or a TTC pass for a year but I’ll be so happy it won’t matter!”
Well… I am happy.. but it does matter.
I don’t feel 100% like myself right now. I have gray hair (secret’s out) and terrible split ends. I walk in the cold ALL THE TIME. I can no longer afford the $12 salads that I used to get for lunch every day. I’m embarrassed when my friends “surprise” pay for me at the movies because I need to get out and they know I can’t come otherwise. I’m used to being a person that has some extra money to be generous with – so this is totally foreign to me. I’m grateful for it too because otherwise I’d never leave the house and watch too many re-runs of SATC. I’m still trying to maintain my old standard of living and I just don’t have the money to do it.
I absolutely do not regret this project! I love what I’m doing and all of the amazing experiences I’ve had with the project. I’m just surprised by how easy I assumed it would be to completely change my life over night. I’m not a huge risk taker and any one of my 48 Barter Babes will tell you that I’m fairly conservative… so how did I ever think this overhaul would be a piece of cake?
To those who get scared when their cable bill comes in or feel like they can’t keep up with their friends financially or who haven’t had their eyebrows waxed in an awkwardly long time because you just can’t justify the $12 -I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I always thought I did before – but let me tell you. I had no freaking clue.
Until Next Time…
Barter On Babes!